I decided that I'm tired of pretending that I can handle my own problems, because if today was any kind of example, I clearly can't. I had a little melt down today. I took both dogs to the vet today to get their shots updated. The vet starts at 6:30 in the morning and I was able to get the first appointment. SWEET, no waiting to get in! Both dogs are approximately 40 pounds overweight, so we talked about diet and exercise for them. They ran a heartworm test on both that came back negative, but being late spring/early summer, it's time for HeartGuard. Sadie has a build up in both ears, so the vet prescribed something for that ... shots for both, DONE. Less than 25 minutes, plenty of time to get back home and still make it to work. I put the dogs in the truck and went in to pay the bill. I was expecting to pay about $150.00, but NO, it was a little more than double that. Yes folks, $336.09 for that short shot visit. I had just checked my bank balance two days before so assumed I had enough in my account to cover that, well guess again! That's what I get for assuming, ya know? I only had $189, but remembered a check that I had not deposited yet ... so now I'm up to $289 ... and I have $63.00 left in overdraft protection ... YAY, enough to cover the vet bill. But not enough to cover the $60.00 in doctor visit co-pay checks that I've written out in the past week. Talk about a sinking, sickening feeling. I am looking at mounting medical bills and unpaid household bills and a paycheck that I haven't gotten yet but is gone about twice over. How does it get to this point? I know that I believe God never gives us more than we can handle, but honestly, my nerves, emotions and mental capacity are stretched about as thin as they can be stretched. I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of stress and anxiety, clinging to a raft but losing my grip quickly. I went home for lunch and told Scott what had happened in the financial world and broke down in tears because I just couldn't cope right then. I'm better with things now, but not sure for how long...
Tonight, while waiting for the news to come on, I flipped channels and found a quote I kind of liked ...
"How we spend our time matters more than how we spend our money. Money mistakes can be fixed, but time is gone forever."
How appropriate that I should read something like that tonight. I'm sure that everything will work out the way it's supposed to and for the best, I'm just not sure my sanity will remain intact long enough to see it come to fruition!
