I'll start out with the heart of my Mother's Day message & then go on to the little snippet of my life this past week... I just didn't have the time or energy this week to go out and buy cards (I'll explain after the mushy part)
First the Mother's Day thought:
I've learned that I just didn't fully understand how hard it would be to not have children until I wanted children so badly my heart hurts. I want nothing more than to cuddle the child whose mother cares more about her next hit than the well being of her child, or the child whose mother either doesn't have the capacity to or learned how to love her child. Unfortunately, I know too many children who live without that love. I thank God, every day, that I was so blessed and that my life has always been so completely filled with love. I never questioned it because I never had reason to. I don't think there was ever a night that went by that Roxie and I didn't get a hug and kiss good night and both hear and say "I love you" just before we went to bed. Many of my friends thought it was pretty corny when I would tell them about that particular family ritual. I understand and appreciate the significance of that ritual more now than I ever did... With all the recent news about children being abducted, abused and killed, it occurs to me that if either Roxie or I had died during the night, the last thing that we might remember hearing is Mom and Dad reminding us that we are loved.
Thank you all for being part of and helping to shape my life!
Now, on to the less mushy stuff... I'm sure you all know me well enough to imagine me being able to get through most of this with out taking very many breaths, and in such a way that typically has Grandma in stitches by the time I'm through with my little rants.
Last Friday my throat hurt when I swallowed, but it wasn't so bad that I couldn't work through it, so I went to work around 6:30am. By 8:10am I was on my way back home. I think I slept pretty much all day and night Friday. Sunday morning I get up and the condition with my throat hadn't changed at all, so I decided "Yes, that's what they made the Urgent Care Clinic for" and headed to Sioux Falls. I get there 20 minutes before the place opens and the parking lot was filling up fast, so naturally I cursed under my breath and followed the herd in when the doors finally opened. Much to my surprise and joy, most of those people were actually health nuts who were there to use the Fitness Center and there were only 3 of us that actually needed to see a doctor. A 20 dollar co-pay and 10 minutes later I'm headed back out the door with a diagnosis of tonsillitis and a prescription for penicillin. I went to our friendly local pharmacist and had the prescription filled. He filled me in all the what to and not to do when taking this drug and sent me on my way. I started taking it right away and my throat actually started feeling better that night even, not 100% but better.
I started coughing pretty hard every time I would lay down, and thought it was the infection breaking up and my body trying to get rid of it, but by late Monday night I noticed that there was a ... well ... lump (for lack of a better word) on the side of my neck, so I thought I had pulled a muscle with all the coughing and what not. Tuesday I felt really hot, but I don't own a thermometer, so just guessed that my body finally decided that it would finally help the penicillin get rid of the tonsillitis, although I was able to swallow without pain ... After several sleepless nights and cat naps at work (which really scared some of my co-workers I guess) last night Scott had seen and heard enough and said something that boiled down to "I don't really care what you say, you are going to the doctor tomorrow" so he was very upset with me when I went to work instead of calling in sick. I just couldn't see it since I felt better today than the entire week before! So I called and made an appointment to see my normal doctor, except that my normal doctor is out until Thursday, which left me with Doctor Chester. I am really lucky that I have such a cool boss, because she didn't even bat an eye when I told her what was going on and that I needed time of at the spur of the moment like that.
Anyway, I went and saw Doctor Chester today. Nice guy, for a doctor. This was the first time I have ever gone into that clinic when they didn't push me on the scale or take my blood pressure (YAY! Doctor lectures are saved for the primary physician I guess). The nurse took my temperature, 101.9 - have to admit, I didn't see that one coming because I didn't feel nearly as warm as I had earlier in the week, so I am starting to wonder what my temp had actually gotten to -- hmmm -- Oh, I know ... HIGH! Enter Doctor Chester who asked me a couple more questions and then started actually examining my neck. I think he spent about ten minutes just comparing the two sides of my neck and asking me if I was sure it didn't hurt at all either when he pushed on it or when I swallowed ... actually it felt pretty good to have him touch it, maybe because it is right under or along side a muscle? At any rate, it was uncomfortable and I notice it once in a while, but it doesn't really hurt ... of course stupid here was comparing the pain to that of the tonsillitis episode rather than treating this as a separate issue. He boiled it down to it being one of 3 things: It could be my lymph node, or it could be a cyst, or it could be an infection pocket (or abscess). But the only way to be sure is to have a CT scan done, in the mean time let's draw some blood and Hey, anyone up for an X-Ray? I guess I was ... I haven't had one of those since that bus accident one cold winter morning all those years ago, but I digress. Happy news is that my lungs are clear and he didn't see anything alarming about my neck, oh and my white cells are up. That coupled with the fever leans heavily toward the infection pocket theory, so he increased the dosage of penicillin (which, of course, isn't in the formulary so this trip wound up costing me $70 rather than $30) and said that he still wanted to have the CT scan done to be on the safe side. That happens on Monday because today I actually remembered to take my Metformin in the morning and I guess the dye they use for the CT scan can combine with the metformin and cause really bad things to happen to the kidneys, so Monday it is.
Ok, so it wasn't all that funny I guess, but I did want all of you to know what was going on and to ask that, while I think this is nothing more than a stupid, easily treatable infection, it would be nice if everyone could add me the their prayer list, at least until after I find out for sure what the CT results are ... ok?
ps, the plumber was here today and thinks he found and fixed the leak in the pipe! and all of the above is why I forgot to buy any Mother's Day Cards this year.
